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'In my darkest hour silence spoke louder than words I am lost in a floating dreamscape I see my face behing a mask with knowing steps I am lured closer reflection strips my guise In the heart of darkness I see a light I hear my voice and I am found' - The mask Venezia

Sunday, June 11, 2006

It hasn't been a smooth sailing year... but a memorable one and a year i wouldn't wanna go through it again.

Yesterday i finished my first exam, i had a pool of 15 questions before the exam and we had to prepare and memorise all 15 coz only 4 came out and we had to do all 4. the day before exam i looked like a ghost, hardly ate, or made conversations, hair a mess, face pail as anything. The day on my exam guess what happened? I had cooked breakfast, by Linah, Pancakes, milo and fruits! WOW!!like WOW!!, my mom doesn't even cook breakfast for me, if she does she just makes toast. I was soooo touched. The exam was alright, managed to answer 3 out of the 4 questions but the last one was short but managed to answer. When i got back home, went online to check my assignment mark. I had a heart attack when i saw the number 7. Just 7 and it said its 30% of my overall mark. 7 out of 100? 10? 30? I was so down that i just wanted to give up coz i thought i failed my assignment. After failing one unit in second year, i don't wanna repeat it again. Today, at church i looked so depressed that no one would dare to talk to me. Played the synthesizer and cried during worship. Not because of my assignment, but other things too. Felt the Lord's presence, felt that eventhough it might seems its over, or i'm not doing well, or i'm going through this year alone, i should always hold on to my promise wit the Lord, that I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH HONOURS. Guess wat? my assignment was out of 10. YEAH!!!! i'm so relieved and so over the moon.

I just wanna thank all of you for your support throughout this year so far. It wasn't smooth, had PMS every minute of the DAY, worries, anxieties how my thesis coming along, my questionnaires, whether i'll pass this year. Thanks for your help, e.g. call a dictionary, or call a help, prayers, hugs. It wasn't easy but without you guys, I wouldn't be in one piece, and without the Lord, i definately wouldn't make it this far. Hold on to your promise the Lord gave to you and believe in yourself. I really need to learn to believe in myself coz never in a millions years did i think i would do honours, but i'm here not with my own strength, but with the Lords and He put me here coz he believes in me and gives me the BEST. :)

10 Comments:

  • At 12:35 AM, Blogger CHI YENN said…

    EXCELLENT top-rate essay. and no need for call-a-dictionary too!

    *impressed sial*

    hahahaha...im still giving you the latest edition for your birthday. count it as my contribution towards your masters'.

     
  • At 10:12 AM, Blogger Victoria said…

    but i like call a dictionary. dunno whether wanna do masters also.

     
  • At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}} {{hugz}}

     
  • At 8:33 PM, Blogger Joyous said…

    You're not in this alone! Me, Jasmine, you..we're all in the same boat. it's hard but it's all worth it. We wanted to get in so much and now that we're in, Praise God and press on! :)

     
  • At 9:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    vic.. do u know ur post is just. ."on time"? . .i just felt so ..comforted/encouraged by it!!!.. i am also struggling. . although u guys are struggling if u are going to make it for honours, i wonder "can i actually even enter it. .?". . this thoughts constantly go through my mind..... i know how it felt. .like depressed etc.. is like with my results, GOD..?? can i really go for it? .. .. and plus now is my final exams..i just had one paper - i was sick!!. . and now still not healed yet! ...i really have to trust God! :) thanks vic for ur post. + oil and love u!!!! God i pray You will help vic, joy, jas, me ..etc..to go through it!!!!! thank YOU DADdy! hugs

     
  • At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    haha...so ur exams over liaoz???

    hows ur testing going? got enuff questionaires?

     
  • At 10:31 AM, Blogger Victoria said…

    nope... last exam this sat.

    testing... so hard to get school to agree with my project and make time for meto conduct the survey. now i've only got 22 year 10 students. i need more ppl

     
  • At 9:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'll be praying for you, Vic...

     
  • At 3:01 PM, Blogger gRacE said…

    yes and amen! :)

     
  • At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    baby I think of you all the time. In fact I think I just dreamt of you, but then I had to wake up. :)

     

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